Things I Don't Understand

There have been an unusually large things that I have been hearing lately that make absolutely zero sense to me. After thinking about it for a while I though I would post some of them maybe you can tell me what I'm missing. Or perhaps you don't understand them either and we can work together to eradicate the mental terrorists...

1. The phrase "you'll wish you'd never been born!". This seems to appear wherever there are angry people squaring up to each other, from kids shows to action movies people are saying this sort of thing all the time. There will be a guy tied to chair and some guy in a black suit with immaculate hair and he'll say something like, "When I get through with you, you'll wish you'd never been born!" followed by a maniacal laugh.

Clearly the guy tied to the chair should be wishing that the scary man with the knife had never been born.

2.Childproof bottles- these should be renamed impregnable tubes. They aren't just childproof they are human proof, I guess we just need to invent light sabers so we can open aspirin.

3. Condensed news sources, okay I understand the practicality, the average person doesn't have time to read everything that they need to in order to be informed. I get it I really do, but some recent journalists have taken it too far. I literally read an article this week that in about two hundred words told me, "the economy sucks and people are bad.". Yes, I know. It is quite possible that the people who write those kinds of articles are at fault for both of those problems.

4. The phrase , "that's just the way I am". "I can't break up with my boyfriend, I know he's cheating on me, but I can't break up with him in a moth with an odd number of days."
"Why???!!!"
"it's just the way I am".
Thats a ridiculous example, but I have heard worse. If "the way you are" is ridiculous. then change it. Or at least think of a decent way to justify your ridiculousness.

5.Job listings who's requirements don't match up with the job description.
Example: Entry Level Inside Sales Position
Minimum requirements: BA or BS in International Communication Theory, Biochemistry, or Film History.
Must have at least 8 years in related  field or peace corps exclusively in Togo or Djibouti.
Comments:Ninja preferred.

Another thing that I don't understand is how Harper's nap time apparently does not relate at all to any of these factors. Her bed time the night before, the time she woke up, amount of activity during the day, or the conditions under which the nap is taken.

Last night she went to sleep at 1:15 AM woke up at 6:30 AM and started her nap at 2:03 PM. She always naps around 2. Who knows why.

Unless were in the car, she'll fall asleep in the car any time because of her condition.

A very serious case of Carcolepsey. It affects over half of Americans every year.