Hitchhikiers Guide to the Cutlery: Part Deux, Life the Universe and Sticky Things

Yesterday I embarked on a remarkable journey, it began looking through three cookbooks. Finally I found something that looked promising, Beer Can Chicken.

You may be familiar with this particular recipe, that involves cooking a chicken with a can of beer stuck up it's bum . I comes by many names, Beer Can Chicken, Beer in the Rear Chicken, The Drunken Bird. The list of innuendos goes on for days.

I had to try it.

So after deciding on an appropriate side dish (corn fritters) I went to the market to get supplies. After scouring the counter for a few minutes Harper and I found our bird. It was a 4.8 lb beauty that had the giblets pulled out already. i have been the giblet remover for several chickens that Megan has cooked and having no desire to go through that again I opted for the giblet-free model.

The next step was finding the beer, I was looking for Heineken. I mean Heinie-Can what could be more perfect? but you need a 16 oz can or larger to cook a bird on and the only one available was the keg can. I just wouldn't fit. So with the limited choices of Natural Light, Icehouse, Bud Light and Bud Light Lime I went with Bud Light (for superior drunken birdablity).

Turns out it takes about an hour and a half to cook that sucker, so while it was going I made the glaze witch mainly consisted of maple syrup and orange marmalade. I put it in a bowl on the kitchen table and went to cook the fritters. In a about a half an hour Harper and I we chowing down on a really tasty, and only mildly violated chicken with corn fritters. It turned out really well.

Until I took Harper down from her highchair only to notice something was wrong with her hair. It was all matted and dark on one side, at first I was afraid she might have hit it and bled some. I was relieved to find chunks on orange rind in her " head wound". Turns out she had gotten a hold of some of the glaze while it had been at the table, and stuck it on her head. Two baths yesterday for HK.

While I was cooking I was thinking about how you could put Beer Can Chicken on a menu, and later thought about what the dish would be called if you used different kinds of beer.

So here you go:

Coors: Rocky Mountain Chicken
Budweiser: This Bird's for You
Dos X: The Worlds Most Interesting Chicken
Red Stripe: Hooray Bird!
Corona: Chicken-Miles Away from Ordinary
Miller Highlife: The Peacock of Chickens
Colt 45: It Clucks Every Time
and the one my dad came up with,
Amstell: Hole in the Dam Chicken

There were more...but I want ya'll to keep reading.

So back to Sticky, Harpers new name after the glazed baby incident. Night before last she slept from 8:30 pm to 8 am, I got up twice anyway because I was convinced she had escaped and ran away. She very rarely sleeps all night, mostly nightmares wake her up, the scariest thing that she ever see's is my face after a week of not shaving so who knows what about. They must be doozies though.